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She looked up from her plate. "Yes. You should be receiving the divorce papers tomorrow. I am asking for no support for me, no alimony. I just want 40% of the total savings and 40% of the value of the house. I am not looking at your 401K account or anything else for that matter." What about custody of the children?" I asked."Joint custody, and either of us can be the primary parent. I know that we both love the children and we would not jeopardize their welfare." She looked directly into my eyes."That is no good. Two weeks with me and two weeks with you and deciding which holiday to spend with whom; half the time these would be difficult to schedule and would make for frequent tough decisions, problems that would tend to complicate their childhood. I am in favor of full custody to just one parent. And since I will be a single guy dating as many women as possible to find the perfect mate, I am sure I will not have enough time for children. I will spend a good deal of time with them. I grab my wife's makeup remover and work as fast as possibleto wipe away any trace of makeup. I'm pretty pleased with the resultsand go to work removing the polish on my toes. Only a half an hour togo. All the towels and swans go in the toilet and I flush my sins away.OK. Let's take a look. Face is clean, polish is gone, adhesive will haveto stay until tomorrow. All back to normal. I put on my sweats, socksand sneaks and busily wipe down the bathroom to remove any rogue makeupor powder. There, Good as new. Making one last pass through the house Ifeel confident everything's away. I made it. Just then I heard thegarage door open. Oh shit. The car. Well I'll just tell her I used herspot and forgot. No harm there.My wife comes in and I give her a big kiss. She looks at me kind offunny. "You know you're not supposed to park in my spot." I hung myhead. I know dear. I forgot. That seemed to work out OK.My wife put things away while I finally got time to rest. Phew. That isthe closest II.
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